I hate your face
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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