so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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