she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's just like the Real World with babies
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
