i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
