im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
