Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I will be naked everywhere
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
