I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
