So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
