is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
