Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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