I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
