My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
cat food counts as protein by the way
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize