Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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