woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
