whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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