Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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