My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize