i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize