also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
