I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
