it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
