just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
