You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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