There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
