thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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