I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
