think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
