He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
