At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
