How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dicks are not precious.
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