did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
