i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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