i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
