Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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