I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
