8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We had to coat check the pizza.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
