Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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