I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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