she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
no you cant smoke seaweed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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