so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize