He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
