Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh god it's open bar.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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