Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
