Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
