i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
There are leaves in my underwear?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
