Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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