Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
not ubering you a puppy
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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