I wannas sexs uuuuu
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
