My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
