I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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