How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
