I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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