sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
