We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize