i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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