So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
