The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
