You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize