yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
