is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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