I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
