it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
